Disco Paladin(written in the spirit of the game)
A Paladin that can ride the tides of chaos!
Here’s the goal of this build: You hope you have enough charisma and luck you can save both you and your party members not from just the monsters trying to kill you, but, from yourself. Got it? Okay, here’s how to do it.
Talking to Your DM: Setting decent assumptions for the Game(Beg for bonuses! Ask for a shiny weapon too)
The biggest problem with wild magic is it’s all up to the DM and DM can be forgetful at times just because they are running everything else! I would suggest you to talk to your DM about some reasonable expectations for wild magic.
Wild magic at least once per encounter, and tides refreshing once, per long rest is a good balance of not too much and not too little. It should be a fair ask.
Dealing With Yourself(Yes blame randomness for your failures, it’s way better than blaming yourself)
Chaos is more about what’s bad than good. Here are 13 things in the wild surge table to worry about
The Negatives of The Wild Magic Surge Table
07–08 You cast fireball as a 3rd-level spell centered on yourself.
Due to someone’s paladin’s aura that person will likely make the save halving the damage.
19–20 You cast grease centered on yourself.
The character you're playing will likely make the save or you will fall, who cares.
31–32 You are transported to the Astral Plane until the end of your next turn, after which time you return to the space you previously occupied or the nearest unoccupied space if that space is occupied.
This just sucks there is nothing I can do about it.
41–42 You turn into a potted plant until the start of your next turn. While a plant, you are incapacitated and have vulnerability to all damage. If you drop to 0 hit points, your pot breaks, and your form reverts.
Another of this just sucks. You likely deserved this.
49–50 You can’t speak for the next minute. Whenever you try, pink bubbles float out of your mouth.
This shouldn’t affect me much. it just stops you from using a few spells that’s it. You talk too much anyway.
57–58 For the next minute, any flammable object you touch that isn’t being worn or carried by another creature bursts into flame.
This can be destructive for the character we are playing, watch out for our stuff!
63–64 You cast fog cloud centered on yourself.
Lucky I picked up blind fighting to negate some of the problems with this.
67–68 You are frightened by the nearest creature until the end of your next turn.
Like life, this sucks but it’s quick and then it’s over.
69–70 Each creature within 30 feet of you becomes invisible for the next minute. The invisibility ends on a creature when it attacks or casts a spell.
This includes me too. Thanks to blind fighting I won’t have to worry about opponents getting an advantage on us, though our party members might.
77–78 You cast polymorph on yourself. If you fail the saving throw, you turn into a sheep for the spell’s duration.
We can just willfully choose to transform into a Trex, or a Giant Ape since if you consent to be transformed there’s no save to worry about. The power of consent!
83–84 Each creature within 30 feet of you takes 1d10 necrotic damage. You regain hit points equal to the sum of the necrotic damage dealt.
This can suck for your party members near you.
87–88 You cast fly on a random creature within 60 feet of you.
This can suck if it’s not you or your party members, however, because you’re a paladin our party is likely grouped next to me meaning at least we have a good chance for this to be positive.
95–96 You and all creatures within 30 feet of you gain vulnerability to piercing damage for the next minute.
This might do nothing or could hurt our party a lot. Overall it sounds too much like trying, I hate to try.
If I left out the Ability Scores would anyone notice?
Okay the stats are: Get really high STR & CHA, get some CON, a little bit of WIS, and Dump DEX
Tools, Backgrounds, and Equipment
The armor choice is obvious it’s your fault if you don’t know what armor to pick. I don’t know anything about backgrounds if you’ve managed to find a guide that does don’t tell me about it because I have no desire to know.
Race
Spoilers: There are two real options pick one of those. Sad about that? Here’s a tip, one of the real options will even let you pretend you're one of the non-options, isn’t it so cool? I love it.
Here is our Level Progression Chart even though most parties don’t even make it past level five(yours definitely won’t)
Level 1: Paladian
We become a paladin! Here we pick up Polearm Mastery(PAM) feat giving us an extra attack
Level 2: Paladian
We can finally smite and we pick up Blind fighting as our fighting style.
Level 3: Oath of the Watchers(who is watching the watchers)
Nothing much here we're just continuing along with our progression.
Level 4: Oath of Devotion(aren’t paladins already devoted to their gods?)
You pick up war caster that’s it.
Level 5: Oathbreaker (My Oath is to break my Oath, also I am not a real subclass)
We pick up our extra attack allowing 3 attacks per turn with PAM and also three chances to smite.
Level 6:Oath of the Ancients(All the gods are Ancient, but, your god is proud of it)
We finally get the big Save aura protecting us and our teammates from all types of danger. Not that this matters, smites are the only reason to play this class
Level 7: Wild Magic
Finally, we get what we wanted! Cast shield, cast magic missile, do whatever the DM wants you to do to trigger wild surge!
Level 8: Wild Magic
Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk
Level 9: Wild magic
Ah, Level 2 spells at level 9. We are so strong and powerful, and so much more than our Save aura, right?
Level 10: Oath of Something(dunno watchers or ancients)
Get that level 7 ability it’s probably really good
That’s it, that’s the whole thing! What else do you want?
I mean you could sell yourself to some god either for a hex-sword or an undead body, but, let’s be honest you're not a wizard Harry, why are you playing in tier 3? God your party is gonna hate you, you don’t have that iceman spell and now the whole team is an entire man behind! What’s the point, being in tier 3 without the iceman spell, that just seems absurd if you ask me. Don’t do it, play another game like Dnd 4e.